Things I'm Really Bad At

Girlfriend, I get sad about my hair too.

Today I feel like celebrating mediocrity. Not just mediocrity, but complete and utter inadequacy. Why? Because I feel like I'm too obsessed with perfection. Sometimes I just get so tired of being GOOD at everything all the time, you know? In case you've never met me before, that is a joke.

But seriously, I feel like people online (and bloggers in particular) are concerned with presenting this carefully manicured version of themselves when it's not really an accurate picture of who they are. I'm not saying we have to let it all hang out all the time but sometimes just post a picture of your messy kitchen, ok? Let me know you're human.

Just not on Instagram. I do not have time for your realness there. Sunshine and puppies and glitter only, ok?

Anyway just to keep myself humble, here are ten things I'm really bad at.
Like, let me be your cautionary tale bad.

1) Folding laundry. I am seriously so bad at it. Ask anyone I've ever lived with and they will tell you it's true. No matter how carefully I try, it always looks like a child did it. Scratch that, a child would probably do a better job than I.  Do they have folding shirt classes at Old Navy? Because I need to take one.

2) Sports/Athletic Pursuits in general. If you’ve seen me play, you know why. I’m not saying it’s a conspiracy but I’m 80% sure that people only invite me to volleyball get-togethers for comic relief.  It’s ok you guys, you can tell me the truth.

3) Math. I have not one but three certified math teachers in my family and yet the ability and desire to quickly and efficiently learn how to solve numerical problems is beyond me.

4) Estimating. Distances, heights, weights, depths, you name it and I will grossly overestimate it. This is obviously related to my poor math skills. Example: last summer someone asked me how tall I thought the Statue of Liberty was and I said 2,000 feet. Dead serious. That’s like 500 feet higher than the Empire State Building. Like, calm down Ellie.

5) Remembering names. I never forget a face but you could be called Penelope Avocado Greensleeves the Third and I would not remember it. Actually that’s pretty unique, I might commit that one to memory.

6) Rapping. I know, I was just as surprised as you are.

7) Returning personal emails. It’s not that I don’t want to write you back, I just take forever to figure out what I want to say in return. I may take myself too seriously.

8) The morning. I need at least an hour of wakefulness and a hearty breakfast before I interact with humanity. Sleeping is one of my top three favorite things and I’m always cranky when it’s over. I apologize to my family, coworkers, and any roommates past and future.

9) Doing my hair. I can bust out an acceptable bun when I need to but 80% of the time it looks like I combed it with a rake. “I love your hair like that” is not a thing I hear often but I don’t let it keep me up at night. I just don’t have the patience for gels and irons and standing in the bathroom for an extra half hour. You’ll just have to accept me as I am, ok?

10) Sticking to spending limits. I’m not saying I have a shopping problem but every time I go, I set a limit of X dollars. Which works great until I see something that is more than X dollars and suddenly I have to have it. Spoiler alert: I have trouble saying no to myself.  I honestly don’t know how people operate with joint checking accounts. 

Is there anything you are particularly terrible at? Please, share! We’re all friends here. I promise it will only make me love you more.

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Photo from Vogue Italia, March 2007

Wedding Dress Shopping

One year ago this month, I came home from Texas and jumped into a flurry of wedding-related activities with my sister and my mother. At the top of the list was shopping for a dress. One afternoon the three of us went out for lunch and headed to a bridal shop, me with my old Minolta in tow.  This is my first and only dress-shopping experience thus far and it was not at all like they picture it on the shows.  I half-expected to be there for hours while Eva tried on dress after dress, with harried shop assistants running around with armfuls of tulle and lace.  Perhaps there would be an endless back-and-forth, maybe a minor fit thrown and ultimately my mother and I wailing in each other’s arms: “SHE’S TRANSFORMED INTO A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY WAAAH.” 

It’s not to say that the whole dress-shopping experience wasn’t fun and a little emotional, because it was both of those things. Eva looked beautiful in everything she tried on and the saleswoman was almost personally offended when she turned down the offer of buying a veil.

Like, calm down, woman. The sanctity of marriage is not ruined because my sister won't be wearing some extra tulle on her head.

Happy May

Today for the first time in a while, I got to take my lunch break in the park behind the office. And it was wonderful. The temperature is pushing 80 degrees but there’s no humidity yet so it was perfect for lolling in the grass with my shoes off.

Oh hello, blue sky. Won't you stay for awhile?

Spring is slowly working its way across the creek.

Dandelions and sandals make me smile.

Other reasons to smile today:

-Sleeping with the windows open. (Until 4 am, when the bird choir began to practice in the tree next to the house.)

-In exactly one month, my sister is coming home for a visit, hooray!

-Snapchat is my new favorite app. If you have a smartphone, please download it and add me (eelycarols), I promise to send you hilarious and strictly SFW pictures.

-An unspent gift card to my favorite bookstore burning a hole in my pocket

-Some much needed words of encouragement:

"Who is among you that feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the Lord, and stay upon his God."-Isaiah 50:10

It is indeed shaping up to be a happy May. 

Happy Weekend

(love love the work of Tim Walker, British fashion photographer)

Hello friends, did you have a good week? Mine was alright, I'm just happy it's ending in sunshine.  I'm looking forward to a weekend at home with my plants and a stack of library books because I'm 80 years old and I don't care who knows.

In the meantime, here are a few things I'm loving this week:

+ Yesterday I bought a mini gold resin lion head for my bedroom wall, 100% serious. It was the best decision I've made all week.

+ In the news: the George W. Bush library was dedicated in Dallas, TX yesterday and 5 present and former presidents were all in attendance (not something that happens often!). The Washington Post has a gallery of images of the presidents hanging out together. In my humble opinion, it says something good about our country when its former leaders can come together in such a peaceful and friendly manner, despite vast political differences. I also thought President Obama's remarks were gracious and kind.

+ This recipe for rosemary flatbread crackers from Gourmet magazine was in our newspaper this week. I can't wait to try it!

+ Have you seen this human chair prank? Both hilarious and terrifying and I may never trust chairs in coffee houses again. (via Hello Giggles)

+ Speaking of things that are funny/scary, Jillian shared this photo with me of a dog wearing a horse mask identical to the one I wore on Halloween.  Obviously I'm getting a dog right this minute so I can recreate this moment.

+ "Wolf" by First Aid Kit


Have a good one my dears.
xx

Yellow

Today I'm inspired by the color yellow.

Yellow is the color of the room I slept in at a friend's house in Switzerland.  It's the color of the summer breeze that ruffles the little hairs at your temple.

Yellow is the sound of a little kid's belly laugh.

Yellow is the taste of the first bite of a croissant fresh from the oven at that boulangerie just down the street from your apartment in Paris.  Which is funny because yellow was also the color of the baker woman's hair.

Yellow is your fingers absentmindedly tapping out a tune on the steering wheel on a late afternoon drive.

Yellow is a cat nap in the sun.

Yellow is the grains of sand you find at the bottom of the suitcase you just pulled out of the closet, reminding you of the last time you were at the beach.

Yellow is the perfect balance of sweet and tart.

If yellow were an musical instrument, it would be an acoustic guitar.  Or a xylophone.

Yellow is found in spring, summer, and fall, but rarely in winter.

Yellow is the color of a Thursday afternoon.

Yellow is a big grin at an inside joke.

Yellow plays well with others but is good on its own too.

Yellow is honesty and confidence and optimism. It likes to be comfortable but isn't afraid of adventure.

Today, I feel yellow.

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Images: lighthouse // two girls // wildflowers // living room // fire escape // striped hallway // beach umbrellas // taxis // balloons // billy buttons // vintage peacoat